He begged me for a quickie and I said I couldn’t, I was going to be late for work and besides I felt my period coming on (not true). Off to “work�...� I went. In reality I went to the local coffee shop and had a good long cup of coffee thinking and a-little afraid of what I would find when I returned home. 30 minutes later I drove back into the driveway to pick up my work papers I “forgot”. No other cars in the driveway, thats good news. I walked into the house, nothing unusual. I walked into our. ” “Nice to meet you,” Jason said. “See honey, it's working already.”We had agreed that I should just ignore his presence, and he would do what he could from the back end to persuade her to accept my flirtations and when it got to it, propositions.“Well I must tell you, Sarah, if I had a woman like you I would do the same thing. Maybe even a little more.” I was proud of my forwardness, and remember wishing I could be more like this when there was no assist. She glanced at Jason a second. This had been a daily routine for us after I came home fromschool. Suddenly I heard my Dad's voice shout, "Jesus H. Christ! My sonis a fucking faggot! Get your pansy ass up stairs you little cocksuckerand get in some proper clothes! Good lord woman! What is wrong with you?"This tirade led to a breakup and my father filed for divorce, He was aMarine and had been deployed for many years. His time at home had beenminimal and he wasn't there when I had been having my gender problems.Mom had been. Unique. Before, when I fought, my thoughts were only on my opponent; their body, their movements, their weaknesses. My own self-awareness was only to monitor any injuries I was having, and trying to reduce their vulnerability. When I trained in the nude, however, I became aware of all my body, every exposed inch. It heightened my awareness. I also... I was embarrassed, the first few times, and so I would try to escape my worries and fears, my embarrassment, and instead escape into my training..
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