More and more I becamefocused on my work and my career. Our sex life, wonderful at first, became more and moreunsatisfying. It’s hard to keep a ...ositive attitudetowards someone with such a low self image. It’scontagious. Though I fought against it I found myselfacting out her low opinion of herself. As the sexbecame more and more stale I became more and moredemanding in my frustration. Having her suck me offbecame a regular thing. I came in her mouth so manytimes I lost count, and,. "You have to understand here that I was still off kilter, as far as thinking rationally about this. My mind was still grappling with the idea of having three babies around. I'd been around one or two, but never for that long. Not that I have anything against them. I just don't know what to do with one. So my response was, again, less than stirring."I'm going to be the babysitter?" I asked."No, silly," she laughed. "You're going to be their father." Of course," I said."I don't think we can throw. She had taken Jamie down to the nursery to put him to bed, and was laying on her bed watching the television with interest. She clapped with glee when the announcer mentioned that Judith Resnick was the second woman in space, following in the footsteps of Sally Ride. The newscaster announced that the shuttle, after its successful lift-off after a delay, was currently in orbit.Julie turned off the television and looked at Beverly and Amber, and said, “Yay!” and bounced like a cheerleader.Amber. Through ourshared pain though, our friendship deepened and for the longest time weknew that shared pain would keep us friends forever. Or so we thought atleast. Then when things started happening to me and I reacted the way thatI did, I only now just realized how that must have made him feel. Howbadly he must have been hurt, to have your best friend, who was there foryou in your worst moment, start pushing you away. Just at the thought ofhow my actions probably hurt him, my eyes started to.
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